Sometimes I go grocery shopping at one of those discount grocery stores, one of those places that sometimes has really cool stuff and that yummy greek yogurt for cheap, but sometimes they have nothing but frozen shrimp pasta and weird gluten-free waffles. Aaaaaanyway, I went there the other day and they had some of boxed stuffing with dried cranberries in it (for some reason, I love fruit in savory dishes), which is always a fast and easy side dish and why do I have to wait until November to have it? So I grabbed a box of it (which turned out to be a box of stuffing with apples in it - which is fine, it's still fruit, you know?).
Of course, I know that the grocery industry thinks if you want to eat turkey at any time that ISN'T the holidays, you must be rich and can afford to pay a trillion dollars for it, so I picked up some ground turkey, too (and a packet of turkey gravy because I cannot make gravy to save my life).
1 lb of ground turkey
1 egg
bread crumbs (if necessary)
1 packet of turkey gravy
Thanksgiving-esque spices (poultry seasoning, salt, pepper, celery seed, garlic)
1 box of stuffing mix and/or some instant mashed potatoes (or homemade stuffing or homemade mashed potatoes, but we're going for speed here)
Turn on the oven to 350
Dump the turkey, egg, bread crumbs and spices of your choice into a bowl, mix it up and form into meatballs. Bake them on a cookie sheet for about 15-20 minutes (or until done - I don't know, I don't really set a timer or anything)
While those are baking, prepare the stuffing and/or mashed potatoes and the gravy.
Serve the meatballs on top of the stuffing with a light blanket of gravy.
(not pictured: meatballs, stuffing and gravy - you've seen all of this stuff before)
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The Easiest Pizza/Spaghetti/Lasagna Sauce EVER
Okay, maybe it's not the easiest EVER, since it's easier to just buy some Ragu, but if you want to add your own stuff and/or monitor the preservatives and crap that you're putting into your temple of a body... this might be the sauce for you.
1 can of tomatoes (preferably without added salt, either diced, crushed or whole - not stewed, unless you're really really into that) (also, you want to adjust the size of the can to what you're serving - pizza takes a smaller can, lasagna takes a bigger one)
some onion (fun fact: the smaller you dice the onion, the sweeter and less intense the taste will be - same with garlic)
about a tablespoon of olive oil or butter (or bacon grease if you've got it lying around)
any seasonings to which you're partial (salt, basil, garlic, Italian spices, crushed red pepper, chicken or beef bouillon [it might seem weird to put bouillon in, but it gives the sauce a flavor of something that's been cooked all day])
Dump the first three ingredients (and any dried spices if you're using them) into a sauce pan and cook it over low-ish heat for about 25 minutes or so - I know that sounds like a long time, but you're letting the tomatoes break down (if you don't have as much time, let it cook about five minutes and hit it with a stick blender). (If it starts to cook down too much, you can add some water or wine)
Add your seasonings and cook it for another few minutes or until it tastes ready.
*I suppose you could add vegetables if you had to, but don't blame me when it turns out gross because of the broccoli, that was your idea
(not pictured: tomato sauce, it's red and liquid-y and usually makes my kitchen look like a crime scene - which is one of the main reasons why I'd never photograph it)
1 can of tomatoes (preferably without added salt, either diced, crushed or whole - not stewed, unless you're really really into that) (also, you want to adjust the size of the can to what you're serving - pizza takes a smaller can, lasagna takes a bigger one)
some onion (fun fact: the smaller you dice the onion, the sweeter and less intense the taste will be - same with garlic)
about a tablespoon of olive oil or butter (or bacon grease if you've got it lying around)
any seasonings to which you're partial (salt, basil, garlic, Italian spices, crushed red pepper, chicken or beef bouillon [it might seem weird to put bouillon in, but it gives the sauce a flavor of something that's been cooked all day])
Dump the first three ingredients (and any dried spices if you're using them) into a sauce pan and cook it over low-ish heat for about 25 minutes or so - I know that sounds like a long time, but you're letting the tomatoes break down (if you don't have as much time, let it cook about five minutes and hit it with a stick blender). (If it starts to cook down too much, you can add some water or wine)
Add your seasonings and cook it for another few minutes or until it tastes ready.
*I suppose you could add vegetables if you had to, but don't blame me when it turns out gross because of the broccoli, that was your idea
(not pictured: tomato sauce, it's red and liquid-y and usually makes my kitchen look like a crime scene - which is one of the main reasons why I'd never photograph it)
Friday, July 22, 2011
All-Purpose Pork
I call it "All-Purpose Pork" because this just cooks it and makes it super tender, but it can go into nearly any meal depending on the spices you choose to add to it - add some barbecue sauce and it makes great pulled sandwiches, add some pico de gallo and corn tortillas and it's carnitas, chop it up in some fried rice and it's pork fried rice... do you have the idea yet?
1 big lump of pork (either a pork roast or a package of pork stew meat, whichever is cheaper)
+/- 1 cup of orange juice
+/- 1 cup of cola (not diet)
Toss all 3 into a crock pot and cook the hell out of it until the pork falls apart (5-6 hours on low, 3-ish hours on high) - season and/or accessorize it as you see fit.
(not pictured: a lump of pork floating in brownish liquid in a crockpot, cooked or uncooked, it looks anything but appetizing - it's super yummy, though)
1 big lump of pork (either a pork roast or a package of pork stew meat, whichever is cheaper)
+/- 1 cup of orange juice
+/- 1 cup of cola (not diet)
Toss all 3 into a crock pot and cook the hell out of it until the pork falls apart (5-6 hours on low, 3-ish hours on high) - season and/or accessorize it as you see fit.
(not pictured: a lump of pork floating in brownish liquid in a crockpot, cooked or uncooked, it looks anything but appetizing - it's super yummy, though)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Kale Chips
yes, kale - one of those leafy green vegetables you pass up at the grocery store. Supposedly it's really healthy, chock full of antioxidants or vitamins or some of that other stuff that makes your body feel good. Unfortunately, unless you're a goat or a vegan, it's probably not something you would eat voluntarily.
I was gifted a bunch of it from my neighbor and after I spent close to half an hour de-bugging it (yay for organic produce) I figured I had to eat it, even if I didn't really want to. Obviously, I could have put it in soup or baked it into lasagna, but I really just wanted to try it before I ruined a whole recipe with it.
Kale chips, as it turns out, aren't bad. Sure, they've got a bit of a yardwork aftertaste, but they've got a decent crunch and with enough seasoning, almost anything can be good.
a bunch of kale or other leafy green
some olive oil
some salt or other spices you like (I added parmesan cheese to one batch and they were even better)
Preheat the oven to 300, wash the hell out of the dirty leaves, dry the hell out of the now-clean leaves, toss the leaves in a bowl with some olive oil and whatever spices you like, pop them in the oven for 20 minutes, then eat them and enjoy feeling smug and healthy until you wash them down with a milkshake or half a cup of bacon grease.
(not pictured: leafy greens - clean ones, damp ones, dry ones and finally crunchy ones - if you're really dying to see something similar, head outside and look at a tree)
I was gifted a bunch of it from my neighbor and after I spent close to half an hour de-bugging it (yay for organic produce) I figured I had to eat it, even if I didn't really want to. Obviously, I could have put it in soup or baked it into lasagna, but I really just wanted to try it before I ruined a whole recipe with it.
Kale chips, as it turns out, aren't bad. Sure, they've got a bit of a yardwork aftertaste, but they've got a decent crunch and with enough seasoning, almost anything can be good.
a bunch of kale or other leafy green
some olive oil
some salt or other spices you like (I added parmesan cheese to one batch and they were even better)
Preheat the oven to 300, wash the hell out of the dirty leaves, dry the hell out of the now-clean leaves, toss the leaves in a bowl with some olive oil and whatever spices you like, pop them in the oven for 20 minutes, then eat them and enjoy feeling smug and healthy until you wash them down with a milkshake or half a cup of bacon grease.
(not pictured: leafy greens - clean ones, damp ones, dry ones and finally crunchy ones - if you're really dying to see something similar, head outside and look at a tree)
Friday, July 15, 2011
Homemade Plain Yogurt
I know, I know, yogurt is cheap as hell and comes in handy dandy little plastic containers, what's the point of making it from scratch? I don't know, it's surprisingly easy and if you're interested in eating stuff with less ingredients and no preservatives, you might as well give it a shot. Also, you can brag in that sanctimonious manner that people do when they make shit from scratch.
1/2 gallon of milk (might as well go for whole milk, at least on your first try)
1/2 cup of store-bought plain yogurt - any type or brand as long as it has live and active cultures in it (that's the good bacteria that turns it into yogurt)
small packet of gelatin (optional, it helps thicken it if you like it like that)
about a cup of milk powder (optional, it helps thicken it and make it a little creamier)
dump the milk into a SUPER CLEAN crockpot, put on the lid and turn it on low for 2.5 hours.
After 2.5 hours, turn off the crockpot and let the milk sit for about 3 hours.
After 3 hours, spoon a couple of cups of the warm milk into a bowl and whisk in the store-bought yogurt (if you're adding gelatin or milk powder, you can whisk that in at this time). Dump all of this back into the crock pot, stir it up, put on the lid and cover the whole thing with a towel and let it sit for about 8 more hours.
You have now made yogurt, try not to dislocate your shoulder when you are patting yourself on the back.
Yogurt can be used as:
hair conditioner - put a bunch on your dry hair, cover it with a plastic bag, let it sit for about half an hour then rinse it out
face mask - smooth a bunch of it onto your clean face, let it sit for 10 or 20 minutes, then rinse it off
marinade - put some yogurt into a big plastic bag, add in whatever spices you like, toss in a couple of frozen pieces of chicken, seal up the bag and stick it into a bowl of water, by the time the chicken is defrosted, it will be all flavor-y and the lactic acid in the yogurt also works as a tenderizer
Oh, yeah, you can also eat the stuff - if you're into it plain that's cool, but you can also add your favorite flavors like honey, strawberry puree or coconut and sliced almonds. My favorite is the scrapings of a vanilla bean and enough sugar to make it barely sweet.
Also, if you're into that super thick Greek yogurt that all the kids like these days, you can achieve this by straining the yogurt through cheesecloth (please note: this method removes the whey from the yogurt which also reduces the volume of the final product)
(not pictured: yogurt... you've seen yogurt before, you're not going to gain anything by me spending half an hour trying to get the perfect shot of a bowl of the stuff festooned with a bright sprig of mint.)
(Also not pictured: some thoughtful anecdote about yogurt. I made it, I ate it, here's the recipe so you can do the same)
1/2 gallon of milk (might as well go for whole milk, at least on your first try)
1/2 cup of store-bought plain yogurt - any type or brand as long as it has live and active cultures in it (that's the good bacteria that turns it into yogurt)
small packet of gelatin (optional, it helps thicken it if you like it like that)
about a cup of milk powder (optional, it helps thicken it and make it a little creamier)
dump the milk into a SUPER CLEAN crockpot, put on the lid and turn it on low for 2.5 hours.
After 2.5 hours, turn off the crockpot and let the milk sit for about 3 hours.
After 3 hours, spoon a couple of cups of the warm milk into a bowl and whisk in the store-bought yogurt (if you're adding gelatin or milk powder, you can whisk that in at this time). Dump all of this back into the crock pot, stir it up, put on the lid and cover the whole thing with a towel and let it sit for about 8 more hours.
You have now made yogurt, try not to dislocate your shoulder when you are patting yourself on the back.
Yogurt can be used as:
hair conditioner - put a bunch on your dry hair, cover it with a plastic bag, let it sit for about half an hour then rinse it out
face mask - smooth a bunch of it onto your clean face, let it sit for 10 or 20 minutes, then rinse it off
marinade - put some yogurt into a big plastic bag, add in whatever spices you like, toss in a couple of frozen pieces of chicken, seal up the bag and stick it into a bowl of water, by the time the chicken is defrosted, it will be all flavor-y and the lactic acid in the yogurt also works as a tenderizer
Oh, yeah, you can also eat the stuff - if you're into it plain that's cool, but you can also add your favorite flavors like honey, strawberry puree or coconut and sliced almonds. My favorite is the scrapings of a vanilla bean and enough sugar to make it barely sweet.
Also, if you're into that super thick Greek yogurt that all the kids like these days, you can achieve this by straining the yogurt through cheesecloth (please note: this method removes the whey from the yogurt which also reduces the volume of the final product)
(not pictured: yogurt... you've seen yogurt before, you're not going to gain anything by me spending half an hour trying to get the perfect shot of a bowl of the stuff festooned with a bright sprig of mint.)
(Also not pictured: some thoughtful anecdote about yogurt. I made it, I ate it, here's the recipe so you can do the same)
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